remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
