I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
