the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
