He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
