I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I'm too high and old for this...
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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