im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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