This dress was meant to end up on your floor
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize