bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
