i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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