Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
