it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
