The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Randomize
