He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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