I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
