this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
