its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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