i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
