im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
