Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
