i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
