summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
