Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
