Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
