it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize