so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
