he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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