Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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