would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Did you pee in the oven last night??
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
