I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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