OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
