you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
