I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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