oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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