I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
