oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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