i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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