just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
