Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
