Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I need to stop coming to work sober
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Randomize
