I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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