Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
