it hurts more in the daytime
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I'm passing your future prison.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Randomize
