I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
