Pappa wants mamma naked
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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