Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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