Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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