I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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