thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
