So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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