Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
