OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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