So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
