his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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