We're facebook friends in real life
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
My vagina just recognized that song.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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