we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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