Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
