Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
