We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
