Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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