one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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