Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
It's just like the Real World with babies
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
