yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
