also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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