Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Randomize
